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Sentence to Haiku

Hokku is a 13th century form of Japanese poetry that was originally the short, quippy opening for a much longer poem, the renga. Hokku, over time, became the little poetic form we all know and love—haiku.

Here in the 21st century, the best way to begin writing a haiku is to craft a sentence of 15 to 19 syllables. For this exercise, let’s begin with a word from The Bard himself.

That’s right, Shakespeare. “Cheer” is a word that comes from the French who borrowed it from the Latin “cara” who borrowed it from the Greek “kara” but all three translate to the word “face’ not what you expected, right? Enter Shakespeare. In many of his works, as with this line from Richard III, he uses “cheer” as a verb that means uplifting comfort or encouragement: “And cheer his grace with quick and merry eyes!” And his use stuck!

So with Shakespeare’s word in mind, let’s compose a singular sentence that creates a snapshot of winter using the word “cheer” like this one:

Stars high above, cheer (5) / on snowflakes parachuting  (7) /winter  in season. (5)

Count syllables and you will discover this sentence has 17. This means it will divide perfectly into three lines with the first line of 5 syllables, the middle line of 7, and the last line of 5:

Stars high above, cheer

on snowflakes parachuting

winter  in season.

But what if this sentence was way too long for haiku form? As is the case with this 20 syllable sentence below, simply trim the three syllable word and you’ll have your haiku!

The stars high above me / cheer on snowflakes that twirl while / falling gracefully down to earth.

 

The stars high above me

cheer on snowflakes that twirl while

falling down to earth.

When the sentence is close, as is the case with these 16 syllable sentence, simply break into three lines as close to 5-7-5 as possible and, et viola!

Stars above cheer on (5)/ snowflakes dusting winter skies (6) / falling slowly (4)

 

Stars above cheer on

snowflakes dusting winter skies

falling slowly.

Night Snow, Utagawa Hiroshige, circa 1833, The Met.

Now you try!

Tomorrow is the first day of December. We hope you will follow along as we explore Twelve Days of Haiku. Don’t forget to check in on social media for our December Giveaway.

 

~Kimberly

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Start the New Year with Pages

January 2024 is right around the corner!

Pages classes are designed to foster competence, creativity, and confidence in students as they press into the important work of becoming literate.  Being able to communicate an original, BIG idea is the ultimate goal of English Language Arts.

Get the most out of Blackbird & Company’s materials and methods! Classes range from 1-5 weekly sessions, and will kickstart your work with skills, tips, and tricks to help you succeed. We offer a wide range of humanities classes, all designed to explore the art of idea making:

  1. CORE – Read and Write and Discuss! These classes are tied to individual Literature + Writing Discovery units (2nd grade through 12th grade). Students will receive weekly feedback on their writing via the one-on-one conference!
  2. The History Opt-in – These classes will provide extra historical background tied to specific CORE Level 2 (4th & 5th Grade), Level 3 (middle school), and Level 4 (high school) units. Students must be enrolled in CORE to participate.
  3. Research – Learn to explore the life of a famous person, extract fact, and write a unique biographical essay. Students are supported each step of the way.
  4. Creative Writing – Each session we are offering short thematic classes that will apply writing skills in beautifully creative ways.
  5. Visual Arts – Explore great works of art and their makers. Students will learn about and practice art making while gaining skills that will transfer to all areas of academic pursuit, especially the art of writing.
  6. Music – Explore the works of great composers and the language of music. Students will gain skills that will transfer to all areas of academic pursuit, especially the art of writing.

Enroll today!

What parents are saying about Pages:

“Thank you for making class so enjoyable and personal. My daughter’s writing has really expanded since being in classes with you.” ~Brit Riddle

“I really appreciate you going through the different areas of reading and writing in class as opposed to having him do it all on his own at home. It sets a good example of what to do (i.e. what to look for and pay close attention to as he reads) and how to do it (i.e. organize his thoughts and get ready to write into paragraphs).” ~Paulina Yeung

 

 

~Kimberly

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The 5-Minute Conference

Five minutes are not to be scoffed at! It is amazing what can be accomplished during a 5-minute one-on-one writing conference with a student writer. Here’s how:

  1. Have the student read the rough draft aloud. Your job is to protect and promote the student writer’s idea. This is accomplished by listening and caring! It was tempting to ask this CORE Level 2 student to add more details to this tiny paragraph, but in listening (and in knowing where this student was in the process of skill acquisition), I realized that this type of “ask” would certainly be discouraging. So, first and foremost, do everything to listen and encourage.
  2. Now choose your battles. I’m always on the lookout for opportunities to help students open their paragraphs with a sentence that will draw the reader into the idea. This paragraph needed a HOOK. Often students, once they begin flowing into an idea, will have a sentence that, with a little rearranging, is transformed into a terrific hook. This is the case with this Section 2 paragraph inspired by Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. While there is nothing wrong with the first sentence, it is certainly more intriguing to begin: We all lived together for a week.
  3. A simple skill that young writers can learn easily during the 5-Minute Conference is to leave space on the page—space between words, space between sentences, space at the margins. A trick I’ve learned is to remind students why space matters and I do this by demonstrating somewhere within the rough draft white space. As example I might say and write: “Do you mean ‘yummyapples’ or ‘yummy apples’ here?”
  4. There are no misspellings here, but there is an opportunity to add a comma in a sentence that is made up of a dependent and an independent clause. “The word ‘if’ is the clue, “I say to my student, “Can you hear where I pause after the word ‘me’ in this sentence?” And then I plop a red comma down, right where it should be: If I had to share a story about me, I would share about Utah.
  5. The twist at the end is set perfectly for a simple OMIT edit. I simply point out that the phrase “big family vacations” is used twice in this sentence and suggest omitting the last phrase and replacing it with a single word: one. The student loved this idea!

Not only were skills introduced, I guarantee these skills were mastered during this meaningful 5-Minute Conference.

[As an aside, just to prove my point, I read this student’s work and the above post aloud to myself. This took 3.5 minutes!

FIVE minutes, once a week will make all the difference in the world!

 

~Kimberly

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Editing Level 1 Writing, Part 2

Here again is an example of a 3rd grade student’s weekly writing, this time tied to the story, The Night Crossing. While it was pointed out that the student didn’t describe an inanimate “object or objects” tied to Christmas or birthdays, it is clear in the writing that it is the people who make the celebrations special, even though the idea of “presents” is offered. These are the things that are important to notice as we shelter the ideas of young writers.

At this point in the year, this was the third Level 1 journal for this student, I had the student join me at my desk and read aloud what she wrote as I made little notes directly on her rough draft.

The HOOK

Often times, the student has crafted a terrific hook a sentence or two into the writing (sometimes we stumble upon it at the very end!). This one happened to be the second sentence. Instead of combining the two thoughts she wrote as topic openers, we decided to rearrange and punch the sentence with a little alliteration:

I love two celebrations because they both involve presents and people.

In doing so, I got to share with her the fact that writers love to inject sound into writing and, that putting words that begin with the same consonant together is called alliteration. And then I chanted: “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers…!” This lesson will likely stick more so than working through an unrelated worksheet exercise on alliteration. Why? Because this is the student’s original idea, it is meaningful, relevant.

Misspellings and Capitalizations

In this paragraph there are two misspellings. I noted them with a check mark and corrected them in a list in the white space of the rough draft. Capitalization mistakes were simply corrected as the student read and a reminder was made to copy capitalization correctly in the final draft.

What else…?

Instead of delving too deep into content changes, at Level 1, try to encourage details in the form of additions. What else do you do on birthdays? What else do you do to celebrate Christmas?

Omissions

Because the student used the word “also” in the “what else” idea, I suggested omitting “also” in the previous sentence.

Next week we might focus on word choice. For example, the concluding sentence, the TWIST at the end, might become more interesting with some added specificity of “fun” and “amazing” activities. But for this week, battles have been chosen! It’s time for the student to polish this little idea.

Ultimately, the goal with Level 1 writers is to shelter the idea of the young writer with editorial feedback to grow skills.

 

~Kimberly

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Editing Level 1 Writing, Part 1

There is a wide range of ability encountered when it comes to Level 1 writers as this post will demonstrate. Students entering the third grade who have been using our curriculum, have been introduced to the whole of phonics (for reading and writing), have acquired a large sight vocabulary (for reading and writing), and have been introduced to all four types of sentences—statement, question, command, exclamation. By the end of the second grade these students are confidently writing journals and simple stories. These students have been introduced to constructing the “Hook” in Storymaker, and understand it is the first sentence that gets any story started! These students are ready to embark on CORE Level 1.

But what happens when students jump into the program at CORE Level 1 who have not been using our curriculum?

When students encounter the weekly writing element in each section, they will be supported with a gentle scaffolding on the page to remind them that a paragraph has an introductory “topic” sentence (the HOOK), 3 supporting sentences, and a conclusion (the TWIST at the end).

This student, who jumped into CORE Level 1 from another program straight out of 2nd grade, is a dyslexic child who was simultaneously remediating phonics. It was important to encourage him to write his ideas even though his skills were limited.. This process would only solidify burgeoning skills. Because he was eager and imaginative, this student had no problem using the phonics he had mastered to communicate a darling idea inspired by My Father’s Dragon!

Here’s what we see:

  • Able to copy the word island from the prompt
  • Able to encode consonant and short vowel sounds
  • Able to encode a few sight words: was, and, made, to

Most important is the fact that, despite being on tippy toes with skills, this student tenaciously pressed into composing a really outstanding idea!

How we approach the edit at this level:

With a young writer, it is best to write suggestions (which takes no longer than 5 minutes!) before sitting side-by-side with the student. Then we talk about what we just read. FOUR positives were offered in this case: 1) Terrific HOOK! and 2) Splendid idea! and 3) Terrific descriptors! and 4) Terrific Twist! Then and only then, after offering genuine positives (always possible to find), do I offer constructive edit suggestions. The most significant edit offered was to correct the spelling. In the last body sentence, I asked the child to tell me more about what the mountains and volcanoes were made of and simply wrote what was spoken. Next, I asked the student  to copy the paragraph with edits. This copy work exercise, because it is tied to an authentic idea, tends to improve the application of phonics skills not yet mastered, more than memorizing rules. This student, by the end of 3rd grade, was moving toward using conventional spelling more often than not.

 

~Kimberly

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Comprehension is Comprehensive

Students working in our CORE Literature and Writing Discovery Guides will, each week, respond to “comprehension” questions that chronologically review the plot points from the week’s reading. But here, “comprehension” is an exercise that both draws students deeper into the heart of the story and the art of writing. Comprehension is a comprehensive exercise!

Comprehension is the act of making meaning from something heard or read.

Comprehensive includes all or nearly all elements or aspects of something.

There are many skills embedded into this complex activity beyond demonstrating that a passage has been well read. The act of responding to questions with a complete, detailed statement, is an opportunity for students to slow into the story details, but perhaps more importantly, to press into the work of constructing sentences.

*****

Following are two examples of the vast comprehensive nature of this weekly comprehension activity.

As a teacher, I scan the following sample from a student new to CORE Level 2,  and notice common spelling errors—their, there, they’re as example. Capitalization too—Communists, Navy. But what I notice first is that each response is a complete, simple sentence construction that parallels the question asked. And this confirms to me this is not the place to be heavy handed with the red pen. Refer to the Teacher Helps for more information on complete sentence responses. I might however, write a little note in the comment space on the Assignment Checklist at the front of the student guide for this section:

Here’s a trick I use to remember the difference between this set of homonyms. Here the correct spelling is used in a correct setting:  “their dog” AND “go there” (remember the’re is a contraction: they are)”they’re friends” … create your own trick and memorize the spelling of these!

When a question is asked, students are free to respond independently:

How does Winn-Dixie make Opal’s Father laugh? 

At first, sentence responses might be simple in nature copying the syntax of the question:

Winn Dixie makes Opal’s father laugh because he opens his mouth in a funny way.

[Here the teacher might suggest ways to smooth rhythm and add descriptive details: “Winn Dixie makes Opal’s father laugh when he opens his mouth in a funny way like he’s laughing.”]

Later, as students become more confident, sentences become more fluid, adopting more sophisticated syntax as in this dependent and independent clause:

When Winn Dixie opens his mouth to copy Opal’s father, he laughs.

[Here the teacher might suggest word choice: “Where you use the word “copy” you might try “mimic” instead.”]

The teacher does not need to correct every single sentence stylistically, but rather look for opportunities over time to inspire the writer to try new things. The best writing teacher will look for small opportunities over time to help students elevate their ideas. One or two suggestions modeled to the student over time is more effective than completing years and years of skill worksheets because this activity is the meaningful of work polishing students ideas.

Each year students using CORE Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 Literature and Writing Discovery Guides will compose over 250 true sentences as they comprehend stories in comprehensive ways.  Ultimately the work—the confident, beautiful, fluid work—will speak for itself!

 

~Kimberly

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Introducing Intermediate Composition

WE ARE HAPPY TO WELCOME TWO BRAND NEW UNITS:

Intermediate Composition: Little Worlds

This intermediate unit is developed to teach high school students how to translate a BIG idea tied to a little story into an essay. Over the course of 5 lessons, students will be guided into the work of crafting 5 literary essays tied to great writers—Flannery O’Connor, Ernest Hemingway, Alphonse Daudet, Eudora Welty, and Gwendolyn Brooks.

And

Intermediate Composition: The Persuasive Essay

The persuasive essay is an opportunity to communicate a point of view on a specific issue. Over the course of 5 lessons, students will explore two sides of an issue, choose a side and then craft details that communicate a position in an effort to convince readers to think twice.

Great essays have the power to encourage, empower, and enlighten. For this reason essay writing should not be treated as just a mechanical endeavor, but rather, as a pathway for the writer to communicate the depths of the heart and mind.

These intermediate courses for high school will focus on composing ideas building on the method middle school students experienced in our introductory units. This said, we’ve made sure that students new to Blackbird & Company curriculum will be supported to succeed in the work as well.

 

~Kimberly

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Person, Place, Thing: Writing Beyond the Noun

WE ARE HAPPY TO WELCOME OUR BRAND NEW UNIT:

Advanced Composition: Person, Place Thing as Long Form Research

Our unique scaffolding guides 11th and 12th grade students over the course of 30 weeks, each step of the way, in the process of researching and writing a long-research paper. This creative non-fiction project is an opportunity for high school students to participate in literary writing before heading to college.

While students will use the scaffolding twice (in both 11th and 12th grade), each paper will be unique depending on the topics chosen. Each year students will choose a theme that they will explore through a person, a place, and a thing. For example, our student sample explores the theme of tragedy via Abraham Lincoln, Terezin, and escalators. Another student might want to explore joy via Henri Matisse, Disneyland, and the yo-yo. Still another might tie hope to Emily Dickinson, the library, and feathers. The possibilities are endless! And because the topic is the student’s choice, and the work is scaffolded incrementally, the 30-week project is not overwhelming. Quite the contrary, students will rise into this work!

 

So click through to pick up your brand new copy just in time for the coming school year.